Sunday Essays: For those who think they’re not enough

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Saturday, August 16, 2014

INSECURITY is the number one factor why we wish that we are somebody else we are not. We put all our efforts in changing ourselves just to be that kind of person that everybody likes. But at the end of the day, we will realize it is not fair. If this is you, this is for you.

I am a man of insecurities. But this does not bug me at all. This is only a reflection of being human, wanting to fit in.

If people were to describe me, I usually hear that I am a skinny guy with pale skin. What’s worse is that people are making remarks that I look like a zombie coming to life. And this led me to disgust my physical built.

But I usually do not take these comments seriously. There are just days that somehow I wish that I was bulkier, or that I had the body of an athlete. I wish I looked healthy.

Some people may hang out with their friends in various parties having the time of their lives, while I stay in my personal space watching an episode or two of Game of Thrones.

And there are others who would raise their eyebrows on me. It irks me when I remember the time someone told me to ‘get a life.’ Should I conform to what’s cool with the youth?

I had once the thinking that maybe if I were one of these people, they will like me more. And because I belong to one of the ‘it,’ I could draw attention from everyone.

Then I realized that it is only I who concealed my eyes to see the good sides of me. I forgot that there is yet another side of the coin.

I may not be one of the cool kids – the person who gets a ‘hey’ from almost everyone, but I am happy that there are real people who would still talk to me. I may not be the guy swooned by everyone, but I appreciate the silence of being alone.

I may not be the person who people call “star of the crowd” but I like the idea of being able to impart happiness and laughter in a small group of people.

And all of these things are enough. I am enough. And so are you.

I want you to see the good sides of yours, too. Maybe all you have to do is to flip that coin and find yourself first. And when you start accepting who you really are, trust me, you will be happier.

The more we care about what others think, the more we grow tired of ourselves. Change that negativity bias in you. Do not let anything or anybody suck out the self-esteem in you. It is only you who could build confidence. Cheer up and be proud of yourself.

Life is too short to worry about being different from others. We seem to be divergent because we see cool in another perspective. All of us have our own definition of cool. And you don’t need to live by standards just to fit in.

Fit in to what fits you. You don’t always have to conform.

Remember, we are not owned by everybody to please. But we have the power in us to stand up for ourselves and be happy with it. At the end of the day, it is you – only you – that matters. People may say nasty things but don’t let these things shake you. Be always true and fair to yourself.

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