Letting Go

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By Jun Ledesma


Friday, May 9, 2014

ONE of the most excruciating pain in life is letting go of one’s most special possessions, relationships, work and love ones. Indeed, in so many cases and instances there is truth to the saying that there is seemingly nothing permanent in this world except for the interest our rabid politicians who consider their office as their prime industry. But that is another story.

Coming back from a brief respite I was shocked to hear of the passing of a friend in the media, Ram Maxey, who in his nineties can churn columns that endear him to girls which he would always say were the virtual elixirs of his longevity. Let me tell you however that I suspect that it was more of his literary proclivity than his penchant with girls that makes him going.

But Ram is almost a century old and fulfilled. It is entirely different with another friend who passed away into that good night. Atty. Charlemagne Aldevera is relatively young. He was active as any according his intimate friends with whom he encountered the day before his final journey. He passed away shortly before midnight Sunday without any hint that he will be going quietly into that great beyond. It was a shock to the family and to friends.


Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, a very intimate friend of his I knew, was the first to succor the family. Binggay, Charlie’s wife and sister of Jess Dureza, was distraught. Who would not? Jess was in Manila presiding over the Philippine Press Institute meeting and Mayor Digong had to call him to comfort the family.

Not too long ago, after Pastor Apollo Quiboloy and myself interviewed the Mayor Duterte on Sonshine TV, both Charlie and Binggay joined us in a more relaxed atmosphere for coffee and laughter over hot topics of the day that includes Leila Delima’s reluctance of indicting David Tan alias Bangayan and CHR Chair Etta Rosales consuming desire to make Digong answerable for all the so-called “extra-judicial killings” in Davao City to include the victims of the NPA Sparrows Operation “Ajos” and Operation “Zombies” and those killed during the height of communist insurgency in the city.

Of course we talked about Mayor Duterte possible entry in the presidential race which the former, as usual dismissed as pipe dream of some of his friends. Charlie batted in with his usual jocose disposition: “I know how and what will make you run”. To which the mayor asked what. “I will prod Nograles to run for president”, Charlie quipped.

That was barely a month ago and even as we lasted up to early dawn, there was no sign Charlie will leave that soon.

We all have shares of tragedies and mournful events. We go through state of denials and then grief over the loss of love ones and friends. The intensity varies and we can never fathom how deep is the sorrow and all we do is commiserate and give comfort to the bereaved.

When we come to terms with reality we submit the judgment to God. Letting go with the beloved finds metaphorical incidences when one has to let go with friends and security blanket or pillow as in the case of my daughter. It is easy to sever ties with the living or doing away with some possessions. In this materialistic world you let go of what you consider trusted and intimate friends because they cheated you.

Friends who would invent tall tales to deny they gypped you when all that is needed is to tell the truth. For truth and time heals. But some people are plainly incorrigible liars.

Time and compassion heal the inmost pain and loss. There is a blessed assurance of relief in Rose F. Kennedy’s statement over the death of his two famous sons: “I have always believed that God never gives a cross to bear larger than we can carry. No matter what, he wants us to be happy, not sad. Birds sing after a storm... Why shouldn't people feel as free to revel in whatever remains to them?”

Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on May 10, 2014.


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