Love in its purest

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By Gingging Avellanosa-Valle

Bahin sang Bubay

Sunday, January 19, 2014

THERE must be something about the bad weather that brings on thoughts about our humanity and weaknesses. The feeling has started the other day when incessant rain persisted through the dawn and into the morning. Then it was reinforced today when the rain continuous to seemingly dampen the spirit.

In times like this it makes us grateful for having the social media that allowed us to connect our thoughts to people instantly. In a positive way, it helps somehow.

It helps to make us see the world in another way, especially when we are down and depressed. We tend to narrow our perspectives when we think so many thoughts on our own, when our mind’s eyes can only feel and see ourselves, sometimes having the tendency to feel sorry for ourselves in the situation that we are in.


Psychologists suggests that depression is contributory to some cases, if not, most cases of self-inflicted pain. It is a kind of malady that should not be dismissed as a mania, and must be addressed not only by the individual undergoing it, but by the people surrounding such individual.

It is something that all humans, and even some mammals, as stories would have it, have gone through one way or another in one’s lifetime. I know, because I I’ve gone through it once in my younger days. That is why I am always consciously in the lookout should my loved ones go through such malaise.

It is a kind of feeling that no matter how hard the individual may want to brush aside, it would persist like a plague. Thus, it is necessary to seek out help whenever one feels the symptoms.

There’s this quote that caught my eyes in one of my readings that rings a bell: “You don’t know: what I’ve been through, the childhood I’ve had, how much I hate myself, what I do to myself when I’m alone, how much I just want to give up, how much my heart hurts, how much I cry alone… you don’t know me at all…”

It takes a lot of courage to confront the truth about ourselves, and oftentimes, we end up the loser because the greatest enemy that we can have is nobody but ourselves. We need to trust our loved ones to help us through our most vulnerable times, because no one else can help us through our quandary but the people who know us best.

I know because my dearest parents pulled me out of the dark pit that I got myself in, some decades ago, when I was young and crazy and was feeling “independent”, such that I thought I did not need anybody at all. It was such a nasty awakening that after a while, I thought, and even my family started to fear that I might not pull myself through and all my siblings were already gathered because they thought I was dying when my body started to refuse and reject medical treatments.

It was tough but the loving care of Mama and Papa saw me through it all. Most of all I learned a lot about what true love was during those times, when I was also starting to get intimately involved with the wrong person that I thought was the one for me.

It is still the family that will see us through in the rough and tumble of our lives.

Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on January 20, 2014.


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