My Indian boyfriend’s family, community don’t accept me

-A A +A

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Dear Cindy,

I just graduated from college and I also have an Indian boyfriend for three years now. My concern is that ever since our relationship began, problems have always beset us.

He is a naturalized Filipino. But the strict Indian culture has been strongly nurtured in his family. Neither his family nor the Indian community will accept me.


I’ve always felt that we belong to two different worlds when it comes to socializing, beliefs and most of all-our religion. My parents point out that I’m just wasting my time because it’s not going to work out. But God knows how much we love each other. Although we differ in spiritual orientations, we both believe in God.

I’m terribly confused. I love my parents and I don’t want to disappoint them. But I don’t want to lose my heart.


Dear Kaye,

A relationship is enhanced if both parties share a similar interests, socio-economic-cultural background
and religious beliefs. The greater the differences, the more adjustments the couple have to make.

In your case, he is an Indian and he practices Hinduism. You are Filipino and I assume a Christian. In short, you both come from a very diverse backgrounds and cultures. Though you both believe in God and go to church together to pray, your religious orientations are different. But have you considered what it might be like when you get married and have children? Will they be raised as Christians or Hindus? From what you have written, this seems to be a potential “conflict” in your relationship.

Kaye, a choice involving relationships has to be made decisively, which is all the more reason why couples in this kind of predicament should carefully
prepare to come up with a sound decision. One should know the objectives in making a decision, the risks involved, the considerations that have to be made and the possible consequences. Therefore, decisions must be based not only on feelings but on conviction that is the fruit of self-examination and prayer.

At your age, you are still too young to consider having a serious relationship. It might help if you go out, meet other young people, open yourself to other relationships with the opposite sex. Let your relationship with your Indian boyfriend stand the test of time.

I pray that you will carefully discern God’s plan and desire for you. Remember that God’s ways are not man’s ways; we can only put our full trust in Him for He knows what’s best for us.

God bless,


Dry, irritated throat

Dear Dr. Dana,

I’m concerned with the frequent hoarseness of my voice which is not really a good thing because of the nature of my job. I’m assigned at the new accounts section of the bank where I work. I’m the one who usually entertains clients who have inquiries and who wish to open accounts in the bank.

These past days, I always feel dryness and irritation in my throat that I have difficulty swallowing. During mealtimes, I see to it that soup is included in my diet so that it will be easier for me to swallow the food. The irritation occurs often enough for me to get worried. It causes discomfort and at times really affects my job.

What action should I make rather what should I do or what medication should I take?


Dear Tart,

The symptoms you mentioned are typical of sore throat. Red or swollen throat maybe a symptom of other infections, an allergy, and viral disease, like mumps, measles and chicken pox.

In young children, sore throat is the mark of a bacteria, streptococcus infection. If not diagnosed or treated promptly, it can lead to tonsillitis, rheumatic fever and kidney damage,

Tart, for minor sore throat, just drink lots of water. Gargling with warm water mixed with salt aspirin or acetaminophen can relieve symptoms.

For organisms called streptococcus in tonsillitis or other bacterial infection, antibiotics may be taken.

Do not smoke, and avoid smoke-filled rooms and polluted environment.
I also recommend lozenges especially those with vitamin C and A and beta carotene. This will boost your immune system to fight virus and bacteria. But if symptoms persists, especially the hoarseness in your voice, I advice you to see an ear, nose and throat specialist.

Very truly yours,

Dr. Dana R. Sesante

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on August 03, 2014.


DISCLAIMER: Sun.Star website welcomes friendly debate, but comments posted on this site do not necessary reflect the views of the Sun.Star management and its affiliates. Sun.Star reserves the right to delete, reproduce or modify comments posted here without notice. Posts that are inappropriate will automatically be deleted.

Forum rules: Do not use obscenity. Some words have been banned. Stick to the topic. Do not veer away from the discussion. Be coherent and respectful. Do not shout or use CAPITAL LETTERS!
  • Sinulog
  • Philippine Polls
  • Filipino Abroad
  • Papal Visit
  • Pacman blog
  • Technology
  • Festivals
  • goodearth
  • Sun.Star Zup!
  • tell it to sunstar
  • Pnoy
  • Calamity Report
  • SunStar Celebrity
  • Sunstar Multimedia
  • ePaper
  • Habemus Papam
  • Obituary