Singlestalk: Have faith

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Saturday, January 18, 2014

Michelle: There are those who are anxious that they are still single. It’s easy to say don’t be.

Many say 40 is the new 30. But there are some women who do not share the same sentiment because they think 30 is an age when they should be married already and past 35, it is high risk—both in finding a husband and having a child.

There is a crisis of some sort when women reach a certain age and become anxious with their state of life. Some think that it's a crime that they're still single and that they should be walking down the aisle to get married to the man of their dreams.


I wish they would think differently and hope that they shouldn't be pressured to get married just because they think that marriage will complete them, make life better or more exciting or that marriage is a better state of life than being single.

DJ: Good thing guys don’t have to go through this in as much as women have to. We don’t have to deal as much with prying questions such as why we’re still single and sometimes phrased as though something is wrong about it.

It’s cool to be single and live in these exciting times! I’m not even talking about non-stop weekend revelry, especially during the Sinulog Mardi Gras.

I’m too old for that.

I’m talking about being able to take control of your life, to be full of passion, to be able to live deliberately. It has its downside. You don’t have specifically someone to share your life’s ups and downs. But not a single soul is living a perfect life.

Whether a person is single, married or into religious vocations, one has to go through life’s challenges and be more appreciative of life’s blessings.

M: Prying questions about still being single do sometimes bother and irritate because it unnecessarily puts pressure on someone who still may not be sure if she is ready to move forward, have a relationship or get married. Being single is a great time to learn to be more independent, to be disciplined, to love oneself and to enjoy one’s own company.

You have to complete yourself before you seek to complete another individual. You have to accept and understand yourself before you accept and understand another person. Marriage is a different matter altogether. It comes with its own set of challenges.

DJ: Being single is not like a death sentence. It is not total deprivation because it has its upside too! You are freer to choose your own adventure. You worry less of the consequences. You only have yourself and your Creator to consider.

Being single is in fact the best time to do what is for the greater good. You can better refuse red tape, the lure of bribery or the temptation to earn more than what is essential. There is also lesser risk to make career changes when necessary.

Decisions such as these are harder when you have a family to consider. And contrary to popular belief, being single is also a good time to travel.

You have the power to make the most of the reasonable plane fares around because you only budget just for yourself. It’s no longer vital to squeeze every molecule of your brain on decisions like which better place to go, Croatia or Peru. Your only compass is your own quest for your personal legend. Sure, you don’t have someone’s hand to hold hands with. But it’s easier to take a selfie and people—some, anyway—don’t mind if all you post is your face!

Like most things in life, do not be paralyzed by seeing only the negative. If you are still single, choose to see its lighter side.

Give freely and take whatever life brings. Go and explore! No one is really guaranteed a perfect life. All we really need is to make the most of the grace that we can choose to live a full life. So savor life. Don’t worry. Have faith. Pit Senyor!


Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on January 19, 2014.


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